George Mark Children’s House part deux

We made it through the weekend. 

I spent Friday night at the George Mark house, in my own room.  I had my (super heavy) door closed and didn’t hear a peep from anyone.  I did wake up a few times, not because of any external disturbance, but because Niko has programmed me this way.  The next morning, the night nurse told me that Niko was fussy on and off through the night but not too bad.  She then gave me a bear hug.  The night nurse was a hugger.  She was so sweet.  She genuinely seemed like she cares about the children and their families.  In fact all the staff seemed that way.     

When I left Niko at the Children’s House on Saturday morning I bawled like a baby.  I couldn’t even look at her.  I slowly walked out with my head hanging low.  I was pathetic.  I felt like I was punishing her for being born with an incurable condition.  The act of leaving her behind felt as if I was somehow rejecting her.  I knew it was just guilt tricking me into self-assassination.  But I couldn’t shake it. I knew that this stay was going to be harder for me than for Niko. 

Saturday night I thought about her all night.  I only called to check on her twice (I’m proud that I contained my anxiety and didn’t embarrass myself).  The first time I called, they said that Niko ate well and was being walked around by a volunteer.  They also told me that she was scheduled for aqua therapy within the hour.  The second time I called they told me that Niko had her last feeding and was already asleep.  She was pooped after being in the spa.  Her night was more glamorous than mine for sure.  For my night away from Niko, I had a Mexican dinner with Kiril and Mila and went to a bookstore.

But oh that Saturday night! I had a delicious full night sleep.  I felt like a zombie the next morning.  I believe my body was in shock. 

We went back the next morning to George Mark.  I found Niko surrounded by three volunteers.  She was the center of attention.  She was asleep on volunteer #1’s lap.  She had just received her own private puppet show from volunteer #2.  And was being gently stroked by volunteer #3.  I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.  One of the nurses told me that Niko slept very well Saturday night, I think almost through the night.  This place is magic. 

This entire experience at George Mark Children’s House was very humbling.  I feel like we are all stripped of our external layers when we walk through their doors.  There’s no pretense, no judgments, no shame.  They run this organization in such a humane manner.  Everyone I met is warm, caring and genuine.  They know what my life is like without my saying a word.  Everyone from the nurses to the nursing assistants, the intake coordinator, the therapist, the volunteers, the cook, the housekeeper, the security guards, all the way to the ladies who do laundry…. it’s like they have somehow figured out what matters in this world.  I know I may be reaching, but when you’re overwhelmed with the pain, stress and exhaustion of caring for your lovely little broken baby, and suddenly you have people who pull you up from the well and tell you to sit back and relax while they do the work for you, you would think that you’ve met some angels too.  The word “humane” just keeps coming to mind.  They are human beings who help.  And I didn’t realize until now that I’m a human being who needs help.

Of everyone I met, I’m most impressed by the volunteers.  This place has a steady flow of regular volunteers who are dedicated to helping children in need.  Many of the children have conditions that are terminal.  That very thought lodges a lump in my throat.  And yet these volunteers come and walk with the children, they talk gently to them, they hold them for hours, they entertain them.  They do this in their own time without anything in return.  I suppose what they get in return is an occasional smile, maybe a laugh, maybe just sustained eye contact.  These people are better than me.   

I’m so happy that this worked out.  I look forward to coming back. 

Sometimes people ask me how they can help.  They offer to cook dinner for us, or grab groceries.  They offer to hold Niko while I cook.  But what I would love is support for George Mark Children's House by means of donation. That would mean the most to me.  

A certified nursing assistant, the wonderful volunteers and Niko's crazy hair

All wrapped up and ready to return home